Tales of a Telemarketer

Remember the 90’s, i.e. that time before Facebook took over? One of my most memorable bookmarked pages is a list of funny answering machine messages. Over ten years later, I listen to them almost every night. Last week I was greeted by “Machine? Yes. Human? No. Message please” and someone else admitted that they “sold out to technology” by investing in a voicemail service. How long ago do you suppose they recorded that message? It’s rather outdated for 2010.

For a telemarketer like myself, I’ll admit that it’s refreshing when people try to be creative. Tonight’s pick belongs to “It rings. It beeps. You talk.” – short and snappy, the way it should be.

Meanwhile, another fellah who reminded me of Mr. Rogers belted out a cheery tune about being unable to pick up. I can only imagine what American Idol auditions would be like if they didn’t set an age limit. I wonder if CTV considered that as a last straw before pulling the plug on the Canadian version last year: Canadian Idol goes Over the Hill.

Also, to all the parents who think their youngster is absolutely adorable and should be the household’s spokesperson, send a postcard or a holiday newsletter. Better yet, go green and make it an e-card with a cute photo.

Hallmark also offers a voice greeting feature in many of their cards now. So sing your loved one a happy birthday, but please hold off on bursting into song every time you can’t make it to the phone.

As for availability, when you’re taking a bath, please don’t feel obligated to pick up. This would be an excellent time to make use of an automated greeting.

Speaking clearly into a microphone can take practice. On that note, I wish all the best to everyone at Centauri delivering Inspiration Challenges this summer!

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